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You Will Have Haters

And they’ll be loud sometimes. For real. They’ll get inside your head and make you think you should just be quiet.

I write personal development for adventurous people. I also write about things I believe in, including social & racial justice. This grinds a lot of gears for some folks. It’s political. Well, whoop dee doo– I’m over posting neutral content. I’m over seeing it. I’m over the idea that we should try to appeal to a wide audience. Over. It.

Having an opinion based on your values is way more important than trying to get people to like you.

There was a time when I took everything personally. I can’t anymore.

When you exist on the internet, the one negative comment you get (out of however many) will be the one that sticks, I promise. It’ll be the one you zero in on– the one you let define you. But you can’t let it stick. It’s not personal.

Haters come with the territory when you say anything at all that takes a side. Giving enough of a fuck to take a stand is worth it. It’s not really about you, it’s about a bigger picture, so release yourself from having to take everything as a personal attack. Choosing to stand up for anything says far more about the strength of your character than a few (or even a few hundred) negative comments.

I wear my values boldly because I believe that’s how you get shit done. Anyone can tell me that my values or beliefs are wrong, but that doesn’t mean they are right in their accusations.

You do not exist to make other people feel comfortable. Your actions speak to your priorities. What do you care about, and are you speaking up about it? Standing up? Showing up? When you decide to do so, I’m on your team.

I have been called many names on the internet– some that I am not even comfortable repeating. But it’s the internet. Is anyone surprised?

Getting hated on means I had something provocative to say in the first place. Many agree, some will not. It is hard to have a peaceful conversation with someone who is determined to bring you down. So if that isn’t going to happen, let it go.

When you live in your truth, people will disagree with you loudly and rudely, online and in person. You cannot let this dampen your spirit or dim your light. More people need your ideas, your vision, and your love more than you will ever know.

We have to give a fuck about things that matter, and we’re always going to get hate for it from someone, somewhere.

And I guarantee that amidst any negativity, there will be a day when you will get an email or comment that simply says, “Thank you for speaking up.”

It will be the only reminder you need that now is not the time to be silent.

 


 

Photo snapped by Adaeze Azubuike.

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29 Comments

  • Reply
    Gabby
    January 24, 2017 at 10:54 am

    LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THIS! Keep doing your thing, Erin- the world needs more people like you who aren’t afraid to speak up about important issues!

  • Reply
    Erika
    January 24, 2017 at 1:06 pm

    Yes! Thank you for speaking up about issues that are important. For issues that make people uncomfortable, but have actual meaning (a little something I’m working on). Cheers!!

    • Erin Sullivan
      Reply
      Erin Sullivan
      January 24, 2017 at 4:47 pm

      Thanks Erika! You got this – it’s worth it :)

  • Reply
    Ute
    January 24, 2017 at 2:48 pm

    It is tough. I guess the most important is to have a strong support group. Please also remember that while you will beat the haters by sticking to your way of seeing and commenting on the world, it is also ok to not be the tough one all the time and take time off when necessary.

    • Erin Sullivan
      Reply
      Erin Sullivan
      January 24, 2017 at 4:48 pm

      So true, thanks for the reminder! Checking in with yourself is so important. :)

  • Reply
    Stephenie Zamora
    January 24, 2017 at 2:54 pm

    Amen sister friend. Haters always show me that I’m being honest about what I truly believe in without watering myself down. SO. IMPORTANT. Hard, but important.

    • Erin Sullivan
      Reply
      Erin Sullivan
      January 24, 2017 at 4:48 pm

      Absolutely! Such a good lesson in patience and in speaking your truth. Amen.

  • Reply
    Jessie Squires
    January 24, 2017 at 7:25 pm

    Thank you thank you for this important reminder! I had a political debate (if you want to call it that) got off on a seemingly uncontroversial post I made on my facebook page this weekend in support of the Women’s March. All it said was that women’s rights are human rights and someone made some very destructive and misguided comments. I was immediately filled with anxiety and didn’t respond, but a few of my facebook friends did with grace and bravado. I thought that it would be better if I stayed out of it and eventually it got out of control so I deleted the post. I agree – I can not stay silent and, moving forward, I will not give into my own anxieties during a time in our country that is so important.

    • Erin Sullivan
      Reply
      Erin Sullivan
      February 4, 2017 at 1:05 pm

      Love what you’re saying Jessie! I totally understand that anxiety. As an anxious person myself, I still get super nervous about comments like that, even if though I totally expect them. Trust that your opinion is important and don’t let anyone get to you- when folks disagree, it’s almost never personal. xo E

  • Reply
    Robby
    January 24, 2017 at 9:19 pm

    This is awesome Erin! Keep it up… You are an inspiration!

  • Reply
    Face
    January 24, 2017 at 9:52 pm

    Thanks for this. Don’t ever stop fighting for and writing about what you believe in.

  • Reply
    Anonymous
    January 25, 2017 at 1:33 am

    Hola soy tu seguidora mexicana, y adoro tus vídeos y tus fotos en instagram, la otra vez hiciste un video en vivo y te pregunte si podrías hablar español hahaha , apenas estoy aprendiendo el inglés, pero quisiera pedirte un favor, si podrías ponerles subtítulos de español a tus vídeos de YouTube me encantaría y te lo agradeseria mucho, te quiere tu fanática mexica Dayane Jaime

    • Erin Sullivan
      Reply
      Erin Sullivan
      February 4, 2017 at 1:11 pm

      Hola Dayane! Muchas gracias por tu apoyo, que bueno saber que estás leyendo el blog. Tengo que aprender como hacer los subtítulos, pero espero tener tiempo pronto. Gracias!! xo

  • Reply
    Lynn
    January 25, 2017 at 6:43 am

    A friend of mine–we have known each other since we were 12–unfriended me during all the election stuff. We had always had religious differences, but they came to a head. I stopped being a “live and let live” kind of person, and became more “fight so that others can live.” She didn’t like that, I guess because homosexuals are killing families or something. Whatever. It IS personal. It’s still worth it.

    • Erin Sullivan
      Reply
      Erin Sullivan
      February 4, 2017 at 1:13 pm

      Lynn, you are a badass. I saw something the other day like, “Are you really gonna let political views ruin a friendship?” “Yes TF I am!” Haha. I always want to hear people, and I know that I’m not a great listener by nature. Trying to get better at that while still standing up for what I believe in. It’ll always be a learning process. I think fighting for those who cannot is more important than ever.

  • Reply
    GJ Seth
    January 25, 2017 at 11:59 am

    It’s all about perception…

  • Reply
    Saba
    January 26, 2017 at 8:21 am

    Well said and good for you! Life really is a riddle wrapped up in an enigma. Pulling back the layers of truth is a life long journey and one filled with self-realization. It’s half the ride and half the fun as far as I’m concerned. Keep on keepin on!

  • Reply
    David Rivera
    January 27, 2017 at 7:39 am

    I find it very courageous to speak from your perspective and your moral values. Your ideas, your beliefs are not always well regarded by others. There will be opposing beliefs. There will be conflicts. The important thing is to remember that in the same way we have the right to be heard and the obligation to speak, others have the same rights and obligations. We should always speak up. We should always be heard. We should always hear. Our opinions and points of view should always be respected (not necessarily agreed upon, respected) in the same way we should always respect (not necessarily agree with) the opposing opinions.

    • Erin Sullivan
      Reply
      Erin Sullivan
      February 4, 2017 at 1:15 pm

      Thanks David! Love what you are saying and I agree!

  • Reply
    Michael
    January 27, 2017 at 10:10 pm

    So E, In today’s climate if you have haters you must have lovers. Bet they outnumber the haters. Hating is easy. Doesn’t require any brains, or rational. Disagreeing with a person does not mean you have to hate. When you hate you lose, every time. Period. Story ends. This blog starts and ends on a positive approach to the life you live. E, please understand, what you bring to the table is important. Not everyone has a voice, you provide that voice for people. That means what you are doing every day has value, has merit. If it provokes, that is a positive, means you touched a nerve. That is a good thing. I like coming here, I like what i read, whether I agree with it or not. You have courage, and that important. Thank you, Michael

    • Erin Sullivan
      Reply
      Erin Sullivan
      February 4, 2017 at 1:16 pm

      If you have haters you must have lovers – yes! THIS!! It’s so easy to dwell on the one hateful or negative thing, that we often overlook the people who love and celebrate us. Really appreciate your comment and feedback. Thanks Michael.

  • Reply
    Julia
    January 30, 2017 at 6:45 pm

    Yes! Thank you.

  • Reply
    Emily
    February 12, 2017 at 11:16 am

    you are such an inspiration and it`s great that you speak up about haters because I think a lot of people don`t. Keep up the great work :)

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