You know, writing this blog over the past almost-2-years has been really interesting. I tackle a lot of topics. Many of them have this huge potential to be cliché. It’s never been difficult for me to write from my heart, but I try to put a real and raw spin on it because I think these things I write about really do matter.
So I want to talk about saying yes, because I see so much of the suggestion to “just say yes”– the notion that we should take opportunities when they come to us. That we should say yes to things, because getting out of our comfort zones teaches us immeasurable lessons and gives us experiences that we couldn’t fathom. I believe this to be true. But I also think there is huge power in saying no.
Saying yes is important. But so is saying no. I’m not talking about choosing to stay comfortable, or choosing to not push yourself. I’m talking about self-care, about self-awareness, about tuning into your needs in a world where it is so easy to tune into a million other things.
I am so guilty of wanting to do it all. And not just doing it all, but wanting to do it all 100%. I often hit my capacity and still I say yes to things.
I have learned that I have to have boundaries if I want to do anything effectively at all. I need alone time. I need rest. I need to make space for new things that can’t come my way if I am overbooked. I would love to say yes to all the coffee dates, but I simply can’t. I would love to do all the free collaborations, but I don’t have the time (or closet space).
I believe that I have a limited capacity for most things. I also believe that energy and time are the most valuable currencies we will ever know. We must be deliberate with how we spend them. Life is short and it’s OK to turn things down.
You are allowed to say no when you are prioritizing something else. You are allowed to say no when you need some sleep. You are allowed to say no because you aren’t feeling 100% on something. In fact, you don’t need a reason– you are allowed to say no for any reason at all.
So I defend saying no. Often, saying no is what allows us to say yes.