This week, I’ve been especially concerned about what other people think of me.
I know I’ve talked about this before– it’s just how I am wired. Worrying about what other people think was the reason why it took me so damn long to start writing in the first place.
In the past week, I can remember hoping nobody noticed how much of my beverage I’ve consistently spilled on myself, or how bad I was at a specific pose in yoga, or that I forgot to wax my upper lip. I spent actual energy concerned about this stuff.
My brain does that thing where it re-plays all the dumb shit I said throughout the day. Or that week. Or over the course of my entire life.
I’m sure everyone I know has been really worried about it too.
Here’s reality: Nobody actually cares that much about what you are doing, because everyone is too busy caring about themselves.
I think about all the times I have looked downright ridiculous. I’m clumsy– over words and actual physical objects. I embarrass myself all the time. Grace does not come easily to me.
I feel like I have looked ridiculous for most of my life, but I probably look most ridiculous whenever I try something new, or take on a challenge, or do something unknown.
It seems to me that you have the highest chance of looking ridiculous when you do something you haven’t mastered yet. When you do something that scares you. When you take a risk. When you challenge your own ideas or someone else’s. When you aren’t confident but are stepping out into the world anyway.
THIS IS WORTH APPLAUDING.
If looking ridiculous happens when we challenge ourselves, then let’s look ridiculous all the fucking time. This is your life. You get one. Realize that whatever awkwardness you feel about yourself is rarely even a tiny blip on anyone else’s radar.
Go forth and look ridiculous. Nobody really cares how it looks anyway.