On Direction

I just need a minute here.

I am so incredibly astounded at how many amazing women I am surrounded by who are simply getting after it. It inspires me and fuels me every day.

In the past 12 months, I have gone through a pretty dramatic mental shift. A year ago, I was in New Zealand with my ex-boyfriend, totally lost. Yes, we were doing some amazing things, and my experiences traveling with him are some of the most memorable I’ve had. But I didn’t know what I was doing. I felt the relationship ending. I felt us going down and I didn’t know how to be just ME again.

I was stuck in a revolving door with “What do you want to DO with your life?” and “Is this the right thing to do?” and “What are you DOING?”

The answer to all of those questions was: “I have no clue. And I am freaking out.

What I did next was what I thought made sense. I knew the relationship was coming to an end and I knew I could at least try to make something positive come out of it. I booked a ticket to Thailand with my fingers crossed, and reluctantly admitted that I was doing one of those “find yourself” trips. I didn’t know what I would find. I didn’t know if it was going to be good or bad or totally depressing.

What the trip taught me was that I should trust myself, and that’s the big picture. I didn’t come home suddenly knowing what I wanted to do with my life, or knowing what my purpose was. There was no huge revelation. I was still not sure where the hell I was going, but I was definitely going that direction.

Look. We can’t always know if the path we have chosen will lead somewhere that makes us happy. And life isn’t about knowing for sure if it will or it won’t. It is okay to figure it out as you go along. That’s what this whole life thing is about. If you aren’t happy, change something and see what happens. If you still aren’t happy, change something else.

You don’t need to know what you want to be when you grow up. I still don’t know.

If you have a dream, do it. If you have a message, say it. If you have a goal, get it. And if you don’t have one yet, that’s okay.

Even if you don’t know where you are going, go in that direction. Embrace yourself, the path you are on, and the person you want to be. You got this.

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  • Reply
    February 24, 2015 at 11:24 pm

    YASSS!! This is so poignant and true. I love how you emphasize the importance of accepting yourself WHERE YOU ARE and ENJOYING the process…not just putting pressure on yourself to be some fully written book.

    • Erin
      February 24, 2015 at 11:40 pm

      Thanks Aria!! Trusting the process teaches us so much! If the pressure we put on ourselves isn’t helpful, we don’t need it.

  • Reply
    Kaylee Dao
    June 4, 2015 at 11:21 am

    reading your blog inspires me! it’s awesome to see someone living exactly the way they want to

    • Erin
      September 3, 2015 at 2:36 pm

      Thanks for the love Kaylee! 🙂

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